FEAR FEAR FEAR

My baby is screaming fear this week. Her camp is the same she attended last year. She was a student at the school where the camp is held from the day she came home. Sadly the elementary level program is closing at the end of summer. So friends she has had since the first week she came home have been exiting at various times over the summer. This week came the ultimate loss. Her teacher- the one person with whom she has a trust relationship with at the school- is leaving.

When she was teased in a kid- appropriate (but mean) way- she LOST it. Old school RAD style. Spiting, kicking, cussing, yelling, etc. She hasn't had a fit on that level in about 6 months. But sadly the continual sense of loss this summer was just too overwhelming. Her own words once calm: "how can she leave? I am so scared for her! What will become of her?"

She is not welcome back at camp.

Fortunately, I have a lot of community support. So she will just stay with me for the last three weeks of the summer.

(I sobbed over her little sleeping body last night. And she is expressing her self most vehemently with pee.)

She feels so much safer with me, her aunt and my mentor whom we all call "mom". But of course for those who don't understand PTSD and RAD....the fear is "isn't she being rewarded for her bad behavior?"

Well, no.

She is being provided an opportunity to be in a safe place. She feels safe- she is successful. Its pretty simple.

If anything she has a new challenge. All day with people who love her? Terrifying. All day with people who have the same expectations? No one who is perceived as the weak link? Wholly control battles!

3 adults who can both playfully engage and draw the line? For her this is going to be a new challenge!

For me its a chance to spend a few weeks of close quarters with my girl before we head to our next big challenge......

Public school.

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