Back story

I realize I may not have properly introduced myself. :)

I am a single mama by choice. I started the adoption process at 25 and adopted at 26. I am now 28. I am a (certified AMS) Montessori teacher in a 3-6 classroom. I have been teaching for 10 years and working in schools for over 15 years. I studied sociology at 2 universities. One of the schools I went to was a historically black college associated with the AME church. I am a Unitarian with Buddhist and Naturalist leanings. My family is predominantly Irish with a healthy dose of Creole and Cherokee. I prefer cats. I am an avid antique and shabby chic decorator. I like to be creative. I grew up in the a city about the 20th in size and now live one of the top 5 largest cities in the nation.

I graduated in the year 2001. A year later my daughter would be born, unbeknownst to me.

My dd's first few years were horrific. Then she entered foster care. That wasn't much better. I won't delve into her private details too much here, but as you know these early experiences of abandonment, loss, and mistreatment have led to RAD, and a host of other alphabets strung behind her name. She was languishing in a long term placement that was more than happy to increase her med doses to sedate her.

I started the adoption process October 14th 2008 at my local CPS office. I was licensed the following June (I moved to a larger home in mid-process). I was forwarded a email bulletin that included my dd before I was licensed and received a polite- get back to us when you are legally open. After I was open I applied for over 100 little girls, including the daughter of one of my fellow bloggers! Most I got no response. I sent out a simple tri fold booklet about myself to every cps office in TX. I was in the top 3 several times. I worked my adoption like a full time job. Once I saw my dd again on TARE, I called her caseworker up and began a relationship with her by claiming my baby. My best friend came from MAYLASIA to be with me the week of the selection. When I was selected......I was over the moon. CPS had never assigned me a caseworker so my PRIDE trainer kindly went above and beyond by representing my interest.

I was chosen in mid august. I drove the several hours away to her hometown for a extended "visit" over friday- sunday. On sunday I was to bring her back home. On the way to small town I was called by the caseworker. She informed me that the foster parent wanted baby girl gone that evening. That she did not want a dinner, return, play day-slumber party- return and go. She just wanted her picked up today. The foster parent did not want baby to leave, she did everything she could to doom and gloom me out of adopting baby. This was her final attempt to scare me off. I don't scare easy.

I said "fine." I was waiting for baby when she got off the school bus. Bless her she had to move to a new school because her school district started school a week before mine. Despite the numerous transitions in her life they by law had to send her to that week of school even though that meant new building, new teacher, new kids etc- for the week before she moved across state.

When I arrived I was given baby's numerous belongings. She had been in the same home for 4 yrs. I was given more warning about her perceived issues.

When she walked through the door, the worker placed her hand on my back as I teared up and sighed. I would have said I loved and claimed her before I ever met her, and so seeing her face was.....striking. It was the force of the love that struck me so hard, I was blown away. And it was a little awkward at first, but we fell into step nicely and she said goodbye to everything she had conscious memory of and left with me 20 minutes after meeting me.

We stayed in the hotel that friday night, went to dinner at chilis (she later told me this was were a former perspective placement that failed brought her) and when we couldn't settle went for ice cream.

The next morning we had cracker barrel and were off to big city. She started a slow transition into school that monday. And here we have been ever since.

Working the therapeutic vibes since August 28, 2009.

Baby has always had an inordinate fear of caseworkers. Though she was never moved herself, she lived through an array of foster sisters coming and going. We worked with the judge and her caseworker to waive the 6 month waiting period and finalized in court at 7 weeks. In October 2009 just a few days over a year since I began the process, baby was legally mine forever.

And that is my side of our back story. The full story is more sordid, and traumatizing than you can imagine. Well maybe not you. If you are reading this---your kids probably have similar stories. The kind that other people like to pretend don't happen in our country. In our neighborhoods. In our families. But that story is not mine to tell. Perhaps one day she'll tell it herself. She volunteers it at random times to random people. Or so it seems to me. Except the last person she told broke down in tears and told us how he was fighting to get his drug addicted sisters kids out of foster care, and how much he needed to hear that good things could happen. Maybe she knows something I don't. :)
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