"There is nothing wrong with that child."

When you are parenting a traumatized child.. the special needs just aren't as visible to the world. My daughter appears to the untrained eye to be a well mannered, engaging, happy go lucky eight year old. To the trained eye she is too easily familiar with strangers, and socially immature by about 2 years. My daughter says "I love you!" over a hundrend times a day. I've counted. "Awww! She loves you so so much!" people say. I know "I love you!" means many things: 1. I think I am in trouble! 2. Are you there? 3. Don't leave me!! 4. PAY ATTENTION ONLY TO ME! 5. Hello stranger! Watch my mom roll her eyes at my declaration of love! 6. Respond to my demands! 7. I love you. 8. I hope you love me. Over the 19+ months since I brought my daughter home from foster care (then 7, now almost 9): many people have assumed I was merely a bad parent. 8 yr old screaming in the store? Licking the floor in a restraunt? In a psych hold at the movies? Kicking a wall and screaming "SORRY SORRY SORRY" at the mall? What a bad parent. The number one tool of trauma mama is a SUPPORT system. When you bring home a child....some people stick around and sort of get it, some people fade away, som people thing you are nuts. BUT out there in the world there ARE people who understand you. Because they live JUST LIKE YOU AND I do. Or worse. I hope you have found some of them. If not check out the map on the side bar and find someone near you. This week a fellow adoptive special needs mom in our support network has had the worst possible outcome for her three year old son. She is preparing to let him go into the arms of Jesus. Though we can not imagine her pain, though we may have never seen her face to face or held her hand: the support network has rallied around her. With hourly or more words of encouragement, prayer/meditation chains through family friends and churches across the world, and financial assistance. Support is invaluable. Sometimes your f@cebook friends are the friends you can count on in a pinch. Sometimes the people who get it are states away. Find some support!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE.