I am writing today about our weekend and how my awesome husband "out crazied the crazy" (thanks Christine Moers for that little phrase).
Layla, our youngest was in full on ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) mode this weekend.
After two tantrums and a bad mood all day on Saturday, we had hoped the storm had passed. Then Sunday morning arrived and it was obvious we were still in the midst of a melt-down.
After her tantrum on Sunday, we told her she could just stay in her room until she was able to change her mood to something a little more pleasant for the rest of the house to be around.
She stayed quietly in her room until her mood was back to that of a happy little 5 year old.
Then she started peeking out of her door. My husband just so happened to be laying in our bedroom and could see her. He had his laptop out and finally goes (in an excited tone) "Come here Layla, do you want to watch this video?" She happily came running.
She was hugged up against him when I came down the hall. When I heard him talking inside of my head I thought, "Oh crap, what is she doing wrong now?" Then when I walked into the room, she was smiling and had a new skill to show me.
So I walk over and she goes, "Mommy can I have a banana?" I see my husband in the background shaking his head no. So I answered, "No." Then she goes, "Oh... well... that's okay I didn't need one anyway!"
So we both praised her for "accepting no" from us.
Our new approach to her is going to be pouring on the praise for accepting no, stop, please don't, etc. We hope that will curb some of the ODD stuff she's been dealing with.
In her mind the word "NO" means, "We don't love you!" and that simply is not true. So when she accepts the "NO" by praising her we will show her we DO love her, and she is in control of accepting the "no" or throwing a fit because it didn't go her way.
So GREAT JOB HONEY! You did really well helping her see that when we say "no" it doesn't mean never, is just means not right now!